Operation Anxiety Freedom kinda came at a bad time because I just took a promotion at work. In coincidental concert with my doctor visit and subsequent perscription to Paxil, I accepted a management position at work. That would sound like good timing but it's weird because I am associating taking Paxil in the morning with anxiety filled days to follow. Plus it makes me feel out of sorts, so when I should be fine tuning the operations at hand I am just like...huh? Interestingly, Zack told me about how schizophrenia patients associate the symptoms of schizophrenia with the medicine they are forced to take, believing that the medicine causes the disorders. Thas sort of how I feel. But possibly, this stuff could be causing anxiety for the following reasons: It makes me tired, drowsey and when I am tired I feel insecure, anxious. Along with that it makes me feel out of sorts and hey, if I don't feel like myself, thas gonna cause anxiety too don't cha think? I do. I figure that the people who make Paxil figure that if your asleep, you can't have anxiety.

BUT, the most amazing things happened after I left work today and went to school. In class our teacher required us to recite back test questions and answers individualy, and in order of seating. I didn't even notice that I never flinched until I had done it about 4 or 5 times. Usually my heart would have raced in antipation as my turn approached again and again. And as I read, I would normally almost run out of breath in a mismangement of pronounciation and untimely breathing techniques. But tonight, I was maximizing pronounciation and actually enjoying my time in the limelight. After school I went shopping with Molly and Tammy and had a great time, because my anxiety was relieved. That was whoa.

It looks like I was getting on the right track, but because of work I might go without the dosage until I get settled in there. I found an oversized rock in my hard place.